I was going to begin my first Ten:24 article with a sincere “It was great to see everyone at the annual Phoenix-Tucson tour de force staff meeting!” But recently, you see, I woke up very early on a Tuesday out of a solid sleep muttering in a pre-dawn daze, “oh no oh no oh no.” I grabbed my phone and clicked on the calendar app, and waded through November and even December. “CFC, CFC, CFC, why is there no CFC meeting on this?!?” I think I already knew it, at that point. Pulling up my emails, I went to the one from Lorina which contained the date of the Powerhouse Desert Summit, and there it was—Friday, Nov. 4. My early morning awakening was one Tuesday too late, as the meeting was the prior Friday. I spent the next hour pondering how in the world I was on this same calendar app a month before, saving the date, yet there was no saved info. I still can’t figure it out.
I doubt anyone likes to mess up. As the first-born raised in a family that was probably built on the cornerstone of Responsibility more than anything else, when I goof, I still begin the afterward mental melee by waiting for the other shoe to drop. We weren’t real big on that whole Forgiveness thing, so the first shoe had already (historically) dropped at that point. You know, I don’t think it’s about pride or ego, although it could be. I guess it’s related, as I think it is just good old shame. I failed someone(s). I have hurt or offended them. I should have caught that, known that, been that, seen that, done that, solved that—but I didn’t even show up to do so. I think that even when the other shoe doesn’t drop, it might as well have. I’ve already paid the price, internally.
Knowing most of you guys the way I do, I would say that almost everyone at CFC sometimes feels this way, at least to an extent. How have you felt when you unintentionally stood someone up, left someone hanging, came in to court underprepared, didn’t get that report done, forgot that you actually even HAD a third child (much less their volleyball game to attend), left Jesus out of the center, or maybe even out of the picture entirely. So, is your eye twitching yet?
As much as I hate to admit it, messing up is therapeutic for me, at times. Yeah, it often costs a little or much, but think of the things that come about from it:
- The remembrance that I am not perfect, much less have it all together. And, guess what, the same rules apply to that guy that just dropped the ball on me (or that will tomorrow).
- The discipline of remembering self-worth. Where does my worth come from, and how about the people around me? Where does performance fit into that picture?
- How can I improve? Is there something I can learn? Perhaps not only I can improve, but I can help others to learn from my mistake, as well.
- How I am processing guilt? That I let it take me to an apology or measures to make things as right as possible. That I am allowing myself to be forgiven, or at least giving someone the opportunity to do so.
- Keeping things in perspective. Is it truly the end of the world, as it often feels in the mind of a “doer”.
I am so much better than I used to be when it comes to grace and mercy, in both the giving and receiving sides of that equation. Well, the receiving is probably still harder for me. Yet, even in the giving of grace and mercy, I still have so many days where I am brooding dark thoughts about the guy who cut me off in traffic (remember the “dark thought bubbles” in the comic strips?). God help us, as we are (new creation) saints still prone to sin. Grace and mercy. I still need to both give them and receive them, better. How about you?
Well, on that very thought, I am going to ask for your forgiveness, and remind you that I am still around and available to serve you. While I am no longer conducting rounds at CFC, I am available to each and every one of you via phone/text/email, and face to face meetings for coffee, lunch (does it look like I miss many?), or at my office space near ASU.
For those of you who don’t know me: “Hi! I’m Greg Bennett. I’m a workplace chaplain, and I am available to help you, free of charge and confidentially, with any life problems, concerns, or obstacles that you may have facing you. Look at our website, www.resourceEC.com, for more information.” BTW, I finally completed overhauling our site, but it’s running a bit slow, while I iron out some streamlining measures. Do not depend on me for your IT needs! But have a look, nonetheless.
Here is my contact info:
Greg Bennett
602.501.5713 m
2 Cor 5:16-19 reads,
16 So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! 17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
18 And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. 19 For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.
What a beautiful remembrance. What a great word, reconciliation. We all need that reconciliation. Let’s take good care of each other and this messy world with all live in, in that spirit. I look forward to catching up with you all, sooner or later. In the meantime, God bless you today.
Greg